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How big of a secret is it?

edited 2:54AM in Off topic
So, I have been thinking about this for some time now and I really wonder. How many of your friends and family know of your drift for the furry world?
For me, I only have one true friend that knows how deep this really goes. Even my wife only knows a little about it and that is because of my drawings. I hope that you will share your thoughts, feelings and experience about this :) And a big thank you to @odes and @Dogson for starting this wonderful project!!!!
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Comments

  • edited 2:54AM
    For me, only my girlfriend knows, but not too much, because while I don't keep any secrets from her, It's kinda embarrasing for me because she isn't much into my kinks, and we don't exactly like the same kind of porn.
    But one day I'll show her Yiffalicious, if only to see her reaction to it.
  • edited 2:54AM
    @Horsie So, you're kind of in the same boat as I am. Only, I do not dare show my wife this. I would hear for it for years to come. And she already finds my drawings disgusting, so...
    I have a profile on DeviantArt.com, if you should care; http://www.deviantart.com/art/Minverva-Mink-Fanart-3-120797095

  • DogsonDogson Administrator
    edited August 2016
    Well, for me, two of my former girlfriends knew and really didn't mind, one of them even thought that a lot of the art was cute and sexy... Thank God I steerd her away from any encounters of Doug Winger and Furronika :expressionless: 

    I got in to furry in about mid 00's when I was about 20 years old in Sweden, and the phenomenon of furry fandom was very obscure at that point, and it still is today although I would suspect that the younger netizens sure know a thing or two about the fandom.

    Some of my friends knew about it and thanks to it being so porly know here they usually went "So what, is it like Donald Duck and Bamse but with dicks and titties, lol whatever, let's go play some CS"

    For those who don't know: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bamse

    One other thing i could armchair for a bit is that as for Europe as a whole, there is only one major FurCon here and it's set in Germany, I guess, I haven't really looked in to that and it seems to be mostly free of controversy.  The big blowouts seems to happen in the US with a lot of crazy people going ape on the floor there. Scenes from the elevator sequence from "The Shining" are reenacted but instead of a tsunami of blood it's a tsunami of cum instead.
    And a lot of bug-chasing scandals.

    This all works detrimental to establish a image of "a hobby for people who like funny animal characters." and attracts negative coverage. My two cents there is that it is what it is, I don't know what could stop people from going nuts there and I don't bother to think about it.

    I have no real interest of con's and I probably have missed some here in Europe, so if anyone else knows, please fill me in. 

    All in all from those nonfurs I've encountered here who found out of my interest, it's mostly been "eh, whatever" so it's almost that I could consider myself normal

    Emphasis on the " Almost" and "Could" :P
  • edited 2:54AM
    I have what you call an hyperactive imagination. I have tried placing furry people in the real world and played out several scenarios of the outcome. Some are fine, others lead to a lot of the stuff we see happen to other people who are "different".
  • odesodes Administrator
    edited August 2016
    This is a really good question. I often times wonder the same thing. Being somewhat of an extreme introvert myself, I'm very interested in seeing how other furries live, how open they are about it and generally just how they relate to "being a furry".

    Personally, for me this whole furry thing is just a dirty little secret hobby (and now my job too actually). To me, the furry fandom has always been synonymous with pornography, and I'm not sure your pornography patterns is something you go out and share openly. I haven't told anyone except 3 friends (who all happen to be people I met through the internet, although I've met them irl too after that). No one I grew up with knows. No one in my family knows. I hardly speak (vocally) to other furries except Dogson. I live a mostly normal, although lonely, life outside of this. I've never been to a furry convention.

    I remember when I just discovered the furry fandom (like 15 years ago), all I wanted was to sort of "come out" as a furry, and be accepted/recognized as such. But I never did. I suppose my self-preservation instincts kicked in, haha. Honestly though, I don't think most people would understand, especially not my conservative family. I'd just become that "animal fucker" guy. People have a nasty habit of wanting to label and judge others, especially so if they're somehow different.

    That said, I think I've always felt jealousy towards other furries who are more open about it, or perhaps it's remorse that I'm not more open myself? I'm not quite sure. So many years have passed, and somehow it doesn't feel as important anymore. That feeling of needing to look outside for acceptance and acknowledgement is somewhat diminishing. In one way it feels like a relief, that I don't need others to know who I am, but at the same time it feels like I'm missing out. Generally, I guess I'm just a bit confused myself how to relate to this whole furry thing.

    That's another thing that's been a bit weird for me. I remember when I used to look up to pop-furs, wanting to be like them and get the same amount of attention they were getting. I thought they knew what it meant to "be a furry", and becoming like them would mean something for my own self esteem. Now I find myself in that very position to some extent, getting fan mails and having some people look up to me as if I know something. Some craving my attention and blessing. It's weird, because I really don't consider myself someone special in this community. I'm just an introverted guy who happened to like furry things. I don't know what it means to be a furry, and to be honest, I don't think anyone does. I think being a furry means vastly different things for vastly different people. Some might claim or act as if they know, but what all this truly is about is how you feel about it, and what it means to you.

    Sorry if I went a bit crazy and off topic here. I have a habit of that when I think too much.
  • edited 2:54AM
    @odes Thanks for sharing all of that odes! No, you stayed right on topic :) 
    For me, I do not see myself as a furry. I have great sexual attraction for them, but I cannot see myself as one. Mainly, this is also the reason why I hope for a human male/ female to be added at some point. 
    It is very nice that you have such a clear timeframe for when you discovered this side of your self. I for one do not know when, but I would guess it started for real took off with Disney's Treasure Planet. You know, the one with the hot, strong cat-like female captain?
  • odesodes Administrator
    edited August 2016
    Haha, alright. Glad I didn't stray too far off. :)

    Yeah, I think I'm similar in that regard. I'm not a guy who wants to be an anthro, or likes to dress up in fursits. Not that I mind that sort of thing, I'm just not into it. I'm just attracted to these beings and enjoy the fantasy. Definitely more into anthros than humans though.

    DrunkDragon said: Disney's Treasure Planet
    Not familiar with this, but while on the topic of Disney movies, I think The Lion King may have helped pave the way for my furry development. I absolutely loved that movie. Watched it so many times as a kid. But ultimately it was a certain blue vixen from star fox that made the final blow, so to speak. She made me tumble further and further into the fandom.
  • edited 2:54AM
    Oh, you just hit the nail on the head! Thats right!!! Totally forgot about "that look" Nala gives Simba, when they are adults. Guess that one had eluded me, until now.

    I brought the Furry fandom up to a friend of mine, who is gay. His partner was there too. He jumped straight to the conclusion that I was gay, since many of the people he knows, who is into anthros and furries are gay. Had to explain to him, that I was straight, married and have kids.

    Regarding you being introvert and at times lonely. You ever need an understanding ear, look me up. I have Asperger's syndrome and ADD, two very conflicting things. Some times, I could go days without seeing anyone, but my ADD side wants company. But too much company and I can develop signs of depression. 
  • odesodes Administrator
    edited 2:54AM
    DrunkDragon said: Oh, you just hit the nail on the head! Thats right!!! Totally forgot about "that look" Nala gives Simba, when they are adults. Guess that one had eluded me, until now.
    Like, I wasn't getting aroused by that (at the time at least), but I'm pretty sure such things left an impression subconsciously.


    DrunkDragon said: Regarding you being introvert and at times lonely. You ever need an understanding ear, look me up. I have Asperger's syndrome and ADD, two very conflicting things. Some times, I could go days without seeing anyone, but my ADD side wants company. But too much company and I can develop signs of depression. 
    Thanks, maybe I'll do that. I wouldn't be surprised if I had some level of that as well. I've been reading about it and can recognize myself in several of the traits, although I've never had issues in school and always worked (somewhat) in a social context. I've been thinking of doing an investigation but that seems heavy. Besides, not sure what I'd gain from that.

    Why did you get a diagnosis and how did it affect your life?
  • edited 2:54AM
    To begin with, I was wrongfully diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder and was filled with a lot of rather heavy anti psychotic meds. Late 2011 they finally got the Aspergers right, but still thought that I had Bi-polar. It was not until last summer they retested me and could confirm that it was ADD and not Bi-polar. They can at times look the same, but if you look at the big picture, how my life had been, they would have caught it much sooner.
    As to how the diagnosis has affected me? Well, it explains a lot. Of the issues and trouble I had in school. Why I at times have trouble with crowds and noise. Why I could get sick, like physically sick with nausea and headache or migraine, if plans suddenly changed.
    I had always been the odd one out. Strange, weird. Had very few friends while growing up. Today, everyone I know knows what I have, so whenever I say something out of context, they know it is because my train of thought is like five stations further than theirs :) It also helps that the church we come at is very open and understanding. Have found a new form of unbiased and open friendship, with people who only judge you by what is in your heart, not what might be blurted out of your mouth. Or by how you live your life.
  • odesodes Administrator
    edited August 2016
    @DrunkDragon ;
    Sounds really nice. I'm happy you seem to have your life in order and feel better now.

    I should probably be investigated, not because I necessarily need help but because it would be nice to know. Plus it's always a nice excuse to have. Like Cartman (although this was faked tourettes):


  • edited 2:54AM
    @odes Sometimes, knowing for sure is nice, but there are things to consider. Depending on your age (note, I have no idea of how old you are), it could be for the better to get it validated and have it on paper. But at a certain age, it does not matter for real. 

    Getting my life in order has been a really, really long and hard journey. Was it not for the support of wife, I would most likely have become a junkie or something along those line. Or I might not been around to discover your great work of digital art ;)
  • edited 2:54AM
    Guys, thanks for sharing, you've given me the courage to post this. 

    I wouldn't consider myself a furry, but I do really enjoy the sexual fantasy side of it. I will most likely keep this part of my life a secret until it somehow accidentally spills into the light. (hopefully that never happens). 

    Up until this game came out, I've been a very casual observer who just enjoyed reading furry hentai. This is the first furry community I've ever signed up on and even created a new email address for. 

    Seeing all of the work @odes and @Dogson have done on the game has really inspired me to work harder on my own video games. I've enjoyed seeing what just a small team of people can really accomplish when they have the passion and drive. 

    Thanks guys!

    @Dogson I recently moved to sweden a few years ago, I think this place is too tame for furcons :expressionless: 


  • edited 2:54AM
    @xxhorsexx Than for your input :)
    Regarding cons, even if they had it here in Denmark, I highly doubt that I would ever attend one.
  • edited 2:54AM
    After further reading this thread, I have to say that I assumed that we were using the furry adjective as something sexual, but I see that's just my dirty mind.
    I'm definitely not a furry, but I love cartoons, anime, and anthropomorfic animals. I'm not interested in cons, and also I'm mostly sure there's none in my country.

    I'm also an introvert, and was very shy and awkward when I was a kid, but now I'm just a bit socially inept. 
    Several years ago I discovered the asperger syndrome, and thought I had it. I tried several tests, but if I have it, it's very very mild.

    So now for the sexual part: if I'm not a furry, why I love furry porn? well, because it's on my (very long) fetish list. I have an extremely strong sexual drive, and I'm also bisexual, something that gives you a lot more options.

    Also, two years ago I got some sessions with a psycologyst, and he said that while I'm a pervert (not his exact words), that's not a problem at all because I accept myself as what I am (and also, I'm happy being that way)

    And to end my post with a funny note, and about telling somebody about my furry preferences, I just remembered that when I was about 18 years old, I was on the home of a girl I was totally in love with (not mutual). After fixing something with her computer, I showed her some furry porn because I thought that would excite her (did I say I'm socially inept?). Obviously that wasn't the result. She got very confused, and the situation soon turned very unconfortable for both of us. Lucky me, she wasn't offended nor mad, and we never talked about this "episode" again and we kept being friends as if that never happened. I still cringe when I remember this episode. :p
  • edited 2:54AM
    @Horsie The test you have taken to determine if you have or do not have Aspergers, are they all "standard online test yourself" tests, or given by professional psychiatric personal? I was tested and was confirmed to have Aspergers. Man, the look on her face as she went through the answers XD

    As you, I too have, at least a fairly long list of fetishes. Don't know how many you have to have before it is considered long. Also, my sexual drive is bonkers. If I let it run its course, I do not know if my wife could keep up.

    My I ask, how old you are and where in the world you call home?
  • odesodes Administrator
    edited 2:54AM
    @Horsie ;
    Hahaha. Dear lord. I can imagine the cringe in that one. Made me chuckle. :)
  • edited 2:54AM
    @Horsie ;
    Not an epic fail, but still... XD I loled
  • edited 2:54AM
    @DrunkDragon I used online tests, but when I had the sessions with a psychiatrist, he dismissed my suggestion about it really fast. Also he made me do several specific tests and he concluded my brain is ok.
    My girlfriend can't keep with me, I already know (and she, too).
    I'm almost 40 and I live in Spain.
  • edited 2:54AM
    @Horsie Does it sometimes feel like your head is about to explode with ideas? And if you can't share them, they fester and starts to become your world?
  • edited 2:54AM
    @DrunkDragon I have a wild imagination, but not as fervent as yours.
    And the fact that I can't share most of my interests because they're unusual (and I'm not talking about NSFW ones only) mades me sad, but only if I think about it.
  • edited 2:54AM
    What??? Have you been inside my head and seen al the crazy??? :P
  • edited 2:54AM
    Regarding fetishes... Others than me, that has this thing for giants? As in Susan from Monsters Vs. Aliens... Ginormica giant...
  • edited 2:54AM
    @DrunkDragon I'm not specially interested in that, but that's maybe because lots of times giant stuff include them crushing or eating normal-size humans or furs, and that's a turn-off for me.
  • edited 2:54AM
    @Horsie Okay...??? Did not know that... Well, I like my Giants like Susane from Monsters Vs Aliens. Nice, sweet and "no-eating-humans" :)
  • edited 2:54AM
    Just bumping this, so any newcomers might join in on the conversation :)
  • edited 2:54AM
    I feel like to an a certain extent almost everyone in my life knows I'm some kind of weirdo lol. I was in a relationship for 12 years with someone who didn't accept anything about my sexual identity or anything about my identity in general. I never felt like I could be myself around her. 3 years ago I met a new gal through a furry dating site and from the moment we got together I could tell things were totally different. I have been able to completely and totally express myself. While I don't have a suit or even a fursona, I am very much into the art of it all. I am called "Pandaman" by my friends and it is just generally agreed upon that I am the human embodiment of a panda. It's been this way since I was 12 probably. My girlfriend accepting my interests, and being interested in them herself is just the best. She even critiques the scenes I make in yiffalicious! 
  • edited 2:54AM
    @Pandamonium Thanks for sharing :) Nice with a positive story
  • edited 2:54AM
    DrunkDragon said: Okay...??? Did not know that... Well, I like my Giants like Susane from Monsters Vs Aliens. Nice, sweet and "no-eating-humans" :)
    Best Giantess material is JCalin's.  They actually have sex in his works instead of being just about stepping on dude's, killing, or vore.

    I wonder what happened to him... gonna go find and message him.
  • edited 2:54AM
    @TheUnsaid Can you link to some of his work?
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